Today, I drove the old lady to the VA to find out if the shrink would have a magic pill to take away all the antisocial and rude violent stuff that she has recently revitalized(Are there many 86 year old punks around? I think not).
She wanted
me to drive her to the CA DMV to "straighten out those people who don't want me to drive."
I really wanted to scream. " You are a menace. No one wants your car and, by the way, you're fucking crazy!" But I held my breath and I became persona non gratis once more as I was the asshole who dreamed/conspired all this up about the Alzheimer's and of course I tricked all the medical staff into going along just so they can get the hub caps after we strip it and sell the old Buick to gangsters. But first the job of getting the shrink on board.
She came alive under pressure and the Dr stated she made sense and seemed clear. Which makes us all look like we got it in for her. Except she has had too many visits and too many staff members charting on her scattered delusions and accusations of incompetency to anyone who differs from her own diagnosis of "ready for a road trip to Virginia and a new job as head nurse at the hopstal around the corner."
I am glad she is not my nurse. Her brain is missing a lot of words. Words like card receipt record report are all now "tickets". Try paying your gas bill with a ticket. Try getting your son to write a ticket on cats. "I paid the bill. Here is my ticket>"
So with one clear interview with one Dr. on one day( we were all shocked) and she has all the ammunition to deny any plans we have made for her placement in a home or nursing center. Now she wants her own home car and autonomy. We all nod our heads "NO." She tries the next argument someone else will do this for me aka granchildren who never call write or visit. "NO"
I walk out. I can see this is going nowhere because the parent is still running the show in spite of the fact she has not a lot of memory left and is running on bravado and farce. But its same stuff she has scared the hell out of her daughters most of their lives. They recall the damaging ridicule the non-support they got growing up. I see revenge they see shame and fear. Its time for her to leave and stop running roughshod over all of us. She did all she could to get out of this house but she has no where to go. We are her last best bet. Yet she treats us like shit. How could anyone love such a selfish and mean person? A person who is filled with shame and lacking self-esteem. No names. Its too common we are nothing special in this game. People get old and are hard to deal with yet there is not much going on in our culture to help so we fight each other and our lives get wasted. Not for much longer for this guy.
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