Friday: I am Negative and Two Friends Call

Last night one of my two best friends called to leave a message that he had been evicted from his home. I didn't want to call at the time and waited until this morning. He has a history and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. He has never hurt anyone but because of his size is intimidating and things tend to get out of hand at times. He calls me. He locked himself out of his house and his parents who live nearby were out of town. They had his spare set of keys and the landlord was with them. He had a visitor, our 90-year-old former high school principal and classmate of my dad, waiting on his porch in the heat. In a state of clarity (sort of) he decided to slap the door and the 1x4 that held the lock came off the hinge and open sesame they were in. The dead bolt still held the door in place securely. The next day, his folks returned and the landlord was called over to show him the damage and hear the report of my friend. To which the landlord said, "We can't have anything like this." And then tried to force his way into my friend's apartment. To which my friend pushed him back out and the landlord called him a "chickenshit" and it went downhill from there. Apparently, this was residual resentment after my friend unplugged the landlord's powertool he had plugged into his outlet without asking. There was no actual eviction notice served. I told him the guy had to follow the law especially since my friend is a disabled veteran (not that they always get treated well either).
Shortly thereafter, I got a call from my other bestfriend who after reading this blog was concerned that I wanted to make the "7 minute swim" after my ordeal at the self sufficiency center. All three of us have a suicide pact which we swore "not alone" all for one or none.
It was a sobering and friendly reminder to realize I was sliding towards giving up since there doesn't seem to be a lot of need (nor renumeration) for my gifts. As I wrote hunger pangs keep me aware of my fate as an artist (Schumann starved himself to death). Some may remember my songs. That is all any writer can say and I have said it. It is fortunate for me to have such friends as I have talked of today. I don't have to dance around my issues they know me well and accept me. They have worried about me in this employment bardo, both of them offering to take me in. I wonder how long it can be until someone gets to believe in me enough to give me a job. They don't know it but they saved my life today. As the universe goes on so does my saga. Its moving. My friend says that's the only direction the universe moves. I got my TB Test and surprise, I am negative.