Rain really F**** Me Up

Here and now I am sad and angry about life. The world as we know it(sic) is a troubled and dangerous place. Especially for pussies and wimps like myself.A real man would fight for his life his place and his honor(sic). Me,, on the other hand am content to suck up and take the abuse that is a result of my own failures and weaknesses. The depression which, according to my partner, is my own design my own creation and my own defense against happiness. I guess I would be happy and content if only I would just see how wonderful life is to the unjaded. I am not in that category. I have lost my way only to be rescued by someone who really really really loves me but who denies my feelings and my emotional well-being in the process. If i have a home i should by default be happy just to have a place to sleep, even if I do not sleep well. I am free to be denied my true feelings are real. Geejus this is just like my family of origin. They also think I am an emotional idiot. So after attempting to find a true bearing in this life, I have walked away from my partner's anger at me for not accepting my own sense of fear and anxiety over the present state of affairs. Its gray out today. The rain really makes me sad. I left anyway because I do not want to argue about what I have and where it is stored. Do I use it every day? No so it needs to go. Maybe i need to go also falling further away from myself or expect to be understood/accepted. I am not the reason you are angry at me. You are not the reason I am angry at myself. I will not waste my time trying to replace your ex in mind and body(sic). I only have a very short time to live, though with you it seems like an eternity. Stop saying you love me. I don't believe it and it makes me sick to try to think you have to lie about who I am. Lie no more I am crazy sad angry and me. don't like it? stop telling me you love me